


Crossroads

by wannaberiderofrohan



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Character Study, Finn-centric, Multi, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, finnfic, mentor Luke, snatched a bit from the EU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 01:26:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6308821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannaberiderofrohan/pseuds/wannaberiderofrohan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Finn awakens at the Rebel Base, he finds himself at a crossroads. A conversation with Luke Skywalker gives him even more to consider. Will he stay with Poe and Rey? Or will he flee and try to hide from the First Order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crossroads

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't as OT3 centered as the tags would imply. It's mostly about Finn and his choices. But there are kisses and cuddles, I promise!

_his legs ached from standing so long a lump weighed heavily in his throat and tears brimmed but he couldn’t cry they would hurt him if he let the tears fall the captain barked corrections and he straightened his spine even though he wanted to fall over_

_left right, left right, marching and marching to the same song, the screens flashed with white armor and lines of perfect formations_

_the walls caged him, boxed him in no windows no doors and he pounded on the rough slabs until his palms bled and screamed until it hurt_

_Slip reached up, gloves red and touched him before going limp on the Jakku sands_

_a tie fighter sunk into the earth and all was lost Poe was lost nothing mattered anymore_

_Ren had Rey and he tried to run, he tried screaming but he couldn’t stop the monster in black from taking her away, taking her to break her_

_The monster raised his saber and it came down…_

_“Listen to me.”_

_He didn’t know that voice._

_“You need to wake,” the voice said. “Your friends, they want you back, they’ve been calling to you.”_

_‘My friends…’_

_Rey who had escaped from Ren, unbroken and unbowed, her smile still shining light_

_Poe who hadn’t been taken beneath the sands but had soared up to the stars, his laugh filling the air with his joy_

_“That’s right…”_

_But as the voice spoke, the walls closed in, and he still bled and he was still FN-2187_

_“Come with me, I’ll bring you back.”_

_“I can’t!” FN-2187 called out. “This… I have to obey… The Order… I can’t leave my place…”_

_“You can.” A hooded figure had appeared, shadows covered his face. “You have. Remember. Remember who you are. What you made yourself.”_

_“I have…”_

_The scene shifted from bright, metal halls to a desert at night. FN-2187 held his blaster, pointed it at a small girl and he heard Phasma give orders but he didn’t fire._

_‘I’m gonna call you Finn’ Poe’s voice rang out in the back of his memory_

_“Finn,” he whispered to himself. “I’m Finn.”_

_The hooded figure appeared again. “Finn,” they said. “Your friends are waiting.” They held out their gloved hand. Finn took it._

Light shone above him and he tried to blink away the brightness. Hands he hadn’t realized were there removed themselves from his temples. 

“He’s awake,” said the voice from his dream. “We’ve got him back.” 

Excited chatter broke out, but the voice told them to hush which Finn was grateful for. Everything was too bright and too loud. 

Finn wanted to ask where he was back from but he didn’t have the energy. He let out a groan and shifted. His eyes adjusted to the brightness. The man in a hood sat next to him, his lined face visible now. His beard was grey and his eyes blue and sharp. 

“You… You were in my dreams…”

“Yes,” he said. He put his hand on Finn’s shoulder. “I know, there is a lot to take in.” 

“What happened?” 

“Ben activated a failsafe in your head,” said the man. “I expect it was placed in all stormtroopers in case he needed to shut them down.” 

“And you pulled me out.” 

The man shook his head. “I just showed you the way. In time, you would have found it yourself.” 

“I told you he was amazing!” chirped a voice Finn knew. 

“Rey…” He pushed himself up. 

“Easy, easy,” murmured the man. But he helped Finn sit up, putting more pillows behind his back. 

Finn had a better view of his surroundings now, and he recognized the blue holos and the cave walls. He was on the Resistance base again. People milled about but Finn’s eye was drawn to two standing nearby. Rey and Poe. 

“Guys…” A smile spread across Finn’s face. They really had been waiting for him. 

Poe reached Finn’s side first. He laid his hand on Finn’s cheek and gave him a small kiss, sending tingles up Finn’s spine. “Hey buddy,” he whispered. “Glad you made it back.” 

Finn nodded and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the lump that had welled up in his throat. No one had touched him like that before, pressing their lips to his. He hadn’t found anyone to file an intimacy request and though he had wanted, he had never had… this. 

“Finn… Are you alright?” Rey put her hand on his shoulder. 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

He bit his lip. It just felt so… much. HIs chest hurt, even though the physical wound was on his back. Rey and Poe loved him and were willing to show it and give it freely. 

A tear ran down his cheek and he mumbled his apologies, but Poe and Rey assured him he had nothing to apologize for nothing at all. That made Finn sob because that was not true at all. He had failed them when he tried to leave, when Kylo Ren beat him in their lightsaber duel. And then he couldn’t stop crying, sobs making his chest heave and the cut on his back sting. 

His shoulders tensed, waiting for a reprimand, waiting for them to pull away. But Poe and Rey just assured him that everything was alright. Poe gave him soft, gentle kisses and Rey squeezed his hand, promising that they wouldn’t leave. 

Finn stopped when he couldn’t cry anymore. His throat itched and his head pounded. 

Rey let go of his hand and left. When she came back, she had a glass of water in her hand. 

He thanked her and took a long sip. The water seemed to clear his mind as well as his throat. He looked around the room and realized that the stranger had vanished. 

“Where did the man in the hood go?”

“Luke? Force knows where he’s gone off to this time,” said Poe. 

“Luke? As in Luke Skywalker?” asked Finn. 

Poe nodded. 

Finn unleashed a series of questions. “You found him? Where was he? Where was the rest of the map? Why did he leave?” 

Poe and Rey filled him in on what had happened. The rest of the map was in Skywalker’s powered-down astromech, and it showed his location to be on Ach-To. (Finn remembered from his Star Chart courses that Ach-To was an oceanic planet with a breathable atmosphere but the lack of substantial landmass made colonization impractical.) Rey had gone with Chewbacca and BB-8 to convince him to come home. 

When they reached Finn’s final question about why Luke had left, they stopped and looked at it each other. 

“Is it a big secret or something?” asked Finn. 

“No, no, I don’t think so,” said Rey. “It’s just… Personal. I don’t think even the general knows.” 

“BB-8 told me,” said Poe. “Probably shouldn’t have. They said Luke left because he was afraid of what he might do if he met Kylo Ren. That there was a part of him that wanted revenge for his students and he thought it would be best to stay away, prevent collateral damage.” 

“I see.” That explanation ran so contrary to the person the First Order had made Skywalker out to be. They said he was an anarchist, bent on destroying anything in between him and his desires, someone who would throw away everything for one person he happened to care about. 

It made sense, of course, that Skywalker was nothing like what the First Order said, since they had everything to gain by distorting his character. 

“I should thank him,” he said. “For waking me up.” 

“I think we all owe him thanks for that,” said Poe.

Finn ducked his head and his cheeks heated up again. “Stop that.” 

“Banthas will fly before Poe stops being nice to you,” said Rey. 

Finn rolled his eyes, but Poe laughed. 

“She’s right,” he said. He pressed another kiss to Finn’s forehead.

Finn gave a small smile. “Thank you.” 

They stayed with him, filling him in on what had happened besides finding Luke Skywalker, discussing plans for the future. Finn fell asleep as Rey and Poe compared different X-Wing models, Poe ideally playing with Finn’s hair and Rey’s small, warm hand in his. 

***

By the time Finn woke, they had left. A med droid explained that he had shooed them out, saying that to get proper rest, organics needed to sleep in their own beds. But even though he had kicked Rey and Poe out of the medbay, Finn couldn’t help but like the droid. 

He was an old, blue, bipedal model called 2-1B or Onebee. He helped Finn get out of bed and re accustom himself to walking. Lying still for a few weeks wasn’t so great on the muscles. Onebee suggested that Finn exercise on the base’s gardens. 

Finn found it odd that a military base would have gardens, but Onebee explained that they were specifically designed for mental and physical recovery. Finn decided to give it a try. 

Walking the wide trails was peaceful. Calm and serenity permeated the gardens, but the air wasn’t completely still. Little brooks flowed over rocks. Birds sung and insects chirped to one another. The wind brushed the leaves of the trees and brought new smells to Finn’s nose. Sometimes it lead him to a bright flower, a tall tree, or even an innocent looking bush. Helpful plaques had been placed next to the plants, identifying the plant, its system and a few uses. 

After an hour of walking, He came upon a small, circular meadow. Trees lined it, and there were no more paths. This must be the end of the gardens. A small waterfall flowed down to feed into the other streams he had passed. 

A figure sat with his back to Finn. He recognized the grey hood and his stomach dropped. 

Luke Skywalker. 

He stood, wondering what to do. Should he say something? Or walk away and pretend this never happened? Skywalker was in the middle of some Jedi thing probably, it would do to disturb him… 

“You may sit with me if you like. I would enjoy the company,” said Skywalker, not turning around. 

“How did you know I was here?” asked Finn. “Did you sense me with the Force?” 

“And I heard you breathe,” said Skywalker, sounding a little amused. “Come, sit. Poe and Rey have told me much about you.” 

“Oh, um.” Finn moved forwards and sat down next to Skywalker, crossing his legs like Skywalker did. “All good things, I hope.” 

“Only the best,” said Skywalker. 

Finn felt heat rise in his cheeks, again, but he smiled. “They’re good people.” 

“That they are.” 

They sat in silence for a moment, listening to the water cascade down the rocks. Finn realized that now was an opportunity to do what he said he would do. 

“Thank you,” he said. “For pulling me out.” 

“You’re very welcome, I’m glad I could show you the way,” said Skywalker. 

“You said that before,” said Finn. “That you only showed me how to get out. But how can you be sure?” 

“You’re strong in the Force and intelligent,” replied Skywalker. “You would have figured out how to break Ben’s failsafe.” 

“I’m strong in the Force?” asked Finn. “I have… Whatever you and Kylo Ren have? Are you sure?” 

Skywalker nodded. “I suspected that was the case from what Rey told me. That you shared a deep, unexplainable connection while piloting the Falcon, how well you handled a lightsaber, that you could break the First Order’s indoctrination.” 

“Oh. Well. All that was… That was just… It wasn’t skill or anything, it was more like instinct,” said Finn. 

Skywalker smiled like Finn had said something funny, but Finn didn’t get the joke. “Even if I disregarded that evidence, I could sense it when I reached out to wake you.” 

Finn had no reason to disbelieve Skywalker. Or at least he couldn’t think of a reason for the old man to lie. But Finn just knew he didn’t have the Force. Kylo Ren could stop blaster bolts in mid-air, do terrible things to someone’s mind and just… know things. Finn didn’t have the slightest idea how any of that worked. 

“What…. is the Force, exactly?” asked Finn. “We knew it existed, but all we knew is that it gave Jedi and Kylo Ren their powers.” 

“Think of it like an invisible energy field,” said Skywalker. “That surrounds everything and connects the galaxy.” 

Finn nodded. “So Force sensitives are people who can access this energy field?” 

“Correct.” 

“So what powers it?” asked Finn. “Energy can’t be created or destroyed, so where does it come from?” 

“When I was first taught, I was told it comes from all living things,” said Skywalker. “From you, from me, from the grass, the trees.” He waved his hand to illustrate the point. 

“But?” 

“My students would often debate the true source of The Force,” said Skywalker. “Did it come from life? Or from the elements that made it?” 

“What’s the answer then?” 

“We never found it,” said Luke. “But they all agreed that without life, The Force would not exist.” 

Finn thought on that. “So… If the Force comes from life… When Starkiller Base destroyed the Republic, was the Force diminished?” 

Luke nodded. “Yes, I believe so.” 

“Will it affect how much power Force users have?” 

“I don’t know,” said Luke. “I simply don’t know.” 

Finn thought on that for a second, about what that meant for the galaxy, what that meant for him. “Are you going to train me to become a Jedi?” asked Finn. 

“If you wish it,” said Luke. 

“If I wish it?” asked Finn. 

“It’s your choice to learn,” said Luke. “I will be here and teach anyone willing.”

“I… I don’t know what I want,” confessed Finn. “What would Jedi Training involve?” 

Luke explained that it would be a long process, long days of physical training and meditation. At night he would have them study and listen to Jedi tales and, when the opportunity arose, seek new knowledge for themselves. 

“I could do that,” said Finn. He was used to hours of study and exercise, memorizing codes, procedures, drills, formations. “Yeah, I could.” 

“I think you have great potential,” said Luke. 

Finn nodded. “Thank you.” It didn’t sound like a bad life, living on D’qar with Poe and Rey and studying with Luke. But… 

“What troubles you?” asked Luke. 

“They would never stop looking for me would they?” asked Finn. “The First Order. If I stayed here, I would have a target on my back.”

“No, they wouldn’t,” said Luke. 

“I can’t go back,” said Finn. “They’ll…” He couldn’t finish that sentence. Isolation rooms and scrubbing the sanitation bowls would be mild compared to what the First Order would do if they found him. 

“You know, Han was at a similar crossroads at one point.” 

“He was?” asked Finn. He racked his brain for what he knew about Han Solo. In the stories the First Order told, General Solo defected from the Empire. Finn supposed that was similar to his situation even though the stories were never clear why Solo left. 

“He left the Empire when he witness something he could not stand,” explained Luke. “They were… They had enslaved Chewbacca and were going to kill him, but Han stopped them. They went on the run and didn’t stop until they joined up with the Rebellion.” 

Finn considered this, then asked, “Was Han happy? With the Rebellion?”

Luke laughed. “He acted like he wasn’t,” he said. “He pretended to be sour and grumpy. But… I think he was happy.” 

Finn thought on that. In his mind he compared the Han he knew the the picture Luke painted with words. The old, tired smuggler who scraped by and The grumpy rebel who had all the love and family he could ask for. Both lives were dangerous. But did Finn really want to end up like Han he knew? Skulking about the Outer Rim, barely keeping ahead of the enemies he made just trying to survive? 

“I don’t know what I want to do,” said Finn. “I’m sorry, I can’t give you an answer. I’m sorry.” 

“I didn’t expect you to,” said Luke. “It’s a important choice, take your time to make it.” 

Finn nodded. “I will.” 

“Rey and I will be training this afternoon,” said Luke. “If you like, you may watch.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’d like that,” said Finn. “Will Rey mind?” 

She didn’t. In fact when Luke told her that Finn would be sitting in, her face lit up. 

“I wanted to show you all the neat stuff I can do!” she said. “Watch this!” She sprinted across the training field and launched herself into the air, somersaulting and landing on her feet, hands in the air like a performer and grinning proudly. 

Finn whooped and hollered and Luke smiled at their delight. 

“Alright,” he said. “Enough showing off, padawan. Time to train.” 

Rey opened her mouth as though to protest, but closed it and nodded. Luke had her stand on her hands and meditate, using her physical strength and the Force to keep herself up. When her concentration broke, Luke helped her to her feet and with a gentle word, had her try again. 

Finn sat on the edge of field, leaning against a tree in the shade, watching the two Jedi. Poe eventually joined them, settling in next to Finn and giving him a kiss. Finn leaned against Poe and closed his eyes. The shade kept the air cool, but Poe’s chest was warm and solid. Rey’s heavy breathing from the strain of her task and Luke’s encouraging words faded into a background hum. 

Perhaps Finn would study with Luke. Perhaps not. He wanted to check what he knew from the First Order and what he had learned from Luke. Gaps needed to be filled in, questions had to be answered. 

But he knew that no matter what he feared the First Order might do, he would stay. Because this moment of peace was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy! Just a couple of notes. 
> 
> 21-B is one of my favorite background characters in the entire Star Wars universe. He takes care of Luke in ESB after the Wampa attack and again after Cloud City. He's presh. 
> 
> Han's backstory is directly taken from the EU. I know that the EU is no longer canon I hope that they keep that aspect.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
